Traveling Little Man

Not even born yet and our little man is definitely getting indoctrinated into one of the ways this family loves to spend time… traveling! It is a passion for both Ashley and me. A passion that we’re sure will have to change while we wait for the birth and then first part of baby A’s life. We’ve already had to bow out of a mission trip to Europe and spending our vacation time mostly in one place, as we have this past week, is almost alien compared to our normal traveling schedules running from here to there. That being said I know neither of us would have it any other way. We’ve already been to Europe a few times, are sure to go on future mission trips, and I’m finding that spending a bulk of time in one place doing nothing but relaxing on the beach really isn’t all that bad. For someone who usually likes to run all over and visit as many places and do as many things as possible… this vacation has been about as opposite as it could be. We did still fit in some little side trips here and there (cousin Jennie’s wedding, visit parents and see friends about to have a baby soon) but it was the most time we’ve spent in one place for a vacation yet.

Our little slice of heaven is just North of Southwick Beach on Lake Ontario. We’ve spent a very relaxing and calm week with weather as good as one could ask for in CNY this time of year. Me getting burnt while floating on a tube ‘to Canada’ on the first day and Ash getting a nice tan all week is evidence of the weather we’ve had. A week filled with falling asleep in the hammock, bombing around on the jetski, playing with the dogs in the waves, getting some sun and simply spending time with Ashley and watching the baby grow in her belly.

That last part really has been really fun lately. Ashley’s belly goes some days without much change while others there seems to be a huge difference overnight. We’re trying to be diligent about taking pictures periodically to chart her growth which is fun to look back at already and see the amazing transformation.

The picture above is from the camp looking out past the totem pole to the sunset over Lake Ontario. Now watching every sunset (and the very seldom seen sunrise) reminds me of the song ‘Sunrise to Sunset’ by Paul Wright. Most reading this probably have never heard of him but he is a great musician that Ashley and I have been following for a few years now. Paul is a Christian artist with an acoustic/chill/surf sound out of Oregon (Check out some of his music here). The main lyrics to the song are ‘Sunrise to sunset… let me not forget… all that you’ve done for me. Sunset to sunrise… help me keep my eyes… upon your Glory.’ It brings you back to the majesty of the sunset and who created it. It’s not just ‘something pretty’ or ‘cool’ to look at. Its amazing that the same God that created each and every sunset and sunrise is at work inside Ashley putting together our little miracle that we’ll get to meet in about 5 months. He knows the plans he has for me, Ashley and our baby. He knows his name, what he’ll look like, and where we’ll go on family trips/vacations together down the road.

Venice, Munich, Cozumel, Pacific Northwest, Colorado Rockies, Florence, Cinque Terra and Prague… As much as I love to travel and loved all of these places… It’s becoming apparent more and more each day that thoughts of visiting these places will fade to the background as my son arrives. Ashley and I had a blast watching our dogs running and playing in the sand and waves, but more than once commented how awesome it will be to see our son running and playing on the beach. Then I started daydreaming to sometime in the future simply watching him playing in the backyard in a similar manner. No exotic location… no far off land. Just Charlotte, North Carolina in good ol’ Cameron Wood neighborhood. There’s no doubt that traveling will continue to be a love for Ashley and I and we hope our son will feel the same one day. We look forward to long road trips as well as overseas adventures. Until that time comes up again we’ll continue to travel in our minds to the not so far off future when our family of 2 becomes 3!

R&R in NY

On my second nightly bathroom break, I had a few realizations. The first was that I love being on vacation… we’re up in upstate New York spending the week at my family’s camp on Lake Ontario before Andrew’s cousin’s wedding. The only thing I have done is read on the beach, play on the beach, read in the hammock, and play Phase10 to pass the evenings. TV is no good, cell phones don’t work, and the internet connection is slower than a snail’s pace… This is a true vacation. I have also achieved a healthy glow of which I am quite proud, and I have upped my protein, fruit, and veggie intake. I am taking care of me and the babe with no other worries at all, except poor Andrew’s massive sunburn obtained the very first day at the lake.

We have also had fun watching the dogs play in the lake – our high maintenance pups who sadly skipped having a carefree puppyhood are frolicking in the lake and racing on the sand like there’s no tomorrow. It is fun to think that the next time we come here, our little boy could be the one exploring the surf and sand with toddlerlike wonder, but I know there is no sense in rushing time or living in the future.

My second realization is that despite my imperfect posture normally, I think I am trying to subconsciously fight my body’s front facing bulge and my spine’s evident curve. During our few sunset photo shoots, I have found myself foolishly sucking in my stomach… for what vain cause??? And sometimes when I look down while standing, I barely look pregnant, but my side profile doesn’t lie! Even though I almost fought the checkout lady at the grocery store a week ago, I really can’t wait to show the world that I am pregnant!! We had dinner with some of our Central NY friends the other night and the girl is 39 weeks pregnant and so gorgeous! I’m sure I’ll think otherwise when I am at 39 weeks, but I am so excited for that time.

For now, I need to live in the moment… I think I’ll go read in the hammock!

He loves me anyway

I was at the store the afternoon after our ultrasound searching for a perfect, sentimental father's day card for Andrew - his first - even though the baby won't arrive for another 5 months... I ended up with a card showing a grill with hamburgers, hot dogs and a spatula on the front. Inside the card it says,

"Happy Flippin' Father's Day!"

Not exactly sentimental or sweet, but it got the expected chuckle.

I'm not sure why I am so unromantic, but Andrew trumps me in the sentimental category every single holiday. His cards are always perfect, thoughtful, mushy... haha, everything a girl could want. I end up forgetting the card altogether or getting a goofy card...which is what I opted for this holiday as well.

He loves me anyway, this I know.

Easter Surprise

First trimester passed slowly, with many naps and closed lips… we didn’t share our news with anyone until after 8 weeks when we told our parents at Easter. The day before Andrew’s 30th birthday, we had our first ultrasound… which I thought would show us a 9 week embryo, but instead showed a 7 week one. Those two weeks I thought I had surpassed had to be relived and were soooo slow! A wise mommy friend pointed out that at the end of my 40 weeks that 2 week difference would be minimal. We now set our sights on a Thanksgiving(ish) due date!

A few days later, we unveiled our secret to my parents and sister in Blowing Rock (and Andrew’s parents in NY) by putting the ultrasound pictures in Easter eggs. My sister opened hers to find a pacifier in the egg and immediately screamed, “Shut up!!” in an unbelieving, authentically excited way. My mom was thrown by the knit booties that used to belong to me, but understood once she saw the U/S picture and note… “Coming Thanksgiving 2009.” Dad opened his egg and just grinned… perhaps from shock… for the next few hours. Andrew’s parents opened their eggs while we were on the phone and the most memorable part of the conversation was Andrew’s dad saying, “Hallelujah” with audible tears in his eyes/voice.

It was a joyful Easter for sure. My prayer on the way up the mountain was for everyone (our families and the world in general) to accept the miracle of life and to love the child of God…both figuratively and literally. On a day of rebirth/resurrection, our baby came alive to our families and became more alive to us. Already our capacity to love was being stretched beyond our human understanding.

Back at school, it was all I could do to get through math between 9:30 and 10:15 without taking some breathing space and shoving a snack in my mouth. I never had morning sickness of any kind, but definitely had to eat as soon as the rumblings of my stomach began. The kids – and my teammates- had no idea I was pregnant, but I readjusted my outlook and approach with the kids knowing I had a matter of significant importance growing in my stomach. Rather than raise my voice and my blood pressure, I began to sit and wait for their attention. This strategy worked well most of the time, for most students…but the resulting patience I learned will serve me well in parenthood.

At the end of most days, whether good or bad, I rewarded myself with a nap on the couch … growing a baby is hard work! Now that I am off of the summer, I still induldge in well deserved naps. Baby A and Mommy A are on growing spurts!

Season Finales; Seasons Beginning

Thus far, thankfully, my pregnancy has been pretty uneventful. I didn't even know I was pregnant until I went to my primary care physician to get an x-ray of my thumb... I had taken a spill (off the couch) almost 5 weeks prior and still had a pain in my thumb.

As a teacher, I couldn't even help my students sharpen their pencils or use scissors so I knew something was wrong. I went to the doctor to get an x-ray, and reluctantly shared that I was about 2 days late… and had a strange metallic taste in my mouth. Surely not universal symptoms of pregnancy, right?! He told me the x-ray would have to wait and a pregnancy test would have to be taken.

I waited the obligatory 20-30 minutes for the doctor to return and strained to hear talking in the hall… I heard snippets of “Definitely pregnant” and “No x-ray" certain they weren’t talking about me. Metal mouth could be attributed to any number of hormones or imbalances and I was NEVER regular when it came to my cycle. I thought it must be someone else they were talking about…

But the doctor came in and told me the news. “You’re pregnant and can’t get an x-ray today.” He then asked if it was good news or not. For those of you who know me, it was incredible news! I’ve wanted a baby for years, but had finally surrendered my desire for a baby and trusted in God’s timing – not mine. As God would have it, my time was now. My thumb would heal on its own and my body would undergo some of the hardest and most important functions it ever experienced.

Spring season finales rolled around and I sat watching The Office finale slightly underwhelmed until the last few minutes when Pam was wheeled in to get an x-ray of her ankle… The moment was so subtle yet utterly exciting as I laid on my couch in baggy sweatpants and one of Andrew’s comfy t-shirts… See it here if the clip doesn't load below



As a season of my life was coming to an end, a new season was just beginning!

Marvelous Light

Aside from a nasty respiratory virus that lingered for about 5 weeks, from the end of the first into the second trimester, it’s been smooth sailing. I’ve been extremely blessed so far. The biggest blessing came yesterday at our 17 week ultrasound where we learned the gender of our baby… a boy!!

The tech knew immediately that the baby was a boy and after that we watched him do acrobatics in my stomach while she patiently checked and photographed each of his vital organs and parts. Everything was perfect. A strong heartbeat of 143, 4 valves pumping blood in and out… a developed brain (large like mine Andrew complimented)… two arms, two legs flailing about…and perhaps the most impressive thing aside from a beating heart was each individually formed rib coming off an intricate, flexible spine.

I think this subconsciously reminded me of God making Eve from Adam’s ribs (Gen. 2: 21-25) …perfectly designed, perfectly proportioned. I guess I didn’t expect that I would see all the parts so clearly, nor that they would be so well developed, but this little 10 inch, 7 ounce baby was molded by God, so I shouldn’t expect anything less than amazing. Seeing him flip and turn and wave and kick made my pregnancy amazingly real.

Apparently my growing belly is further proof that this little person is real, but seeing him move was miraculous. I really can’t understand how someone could spend 30 minutes with an ultrasound technician and not come out of the dark room – into the marvelous light – believing in God. I believe and I was still utterly moved by His creation… inside me.

Boy!?! Oh Boy!!

So maybe I'm the stereotypical dad-to-be but I really was pulling for a boy! Dads wanting boys seems to be par for the course right? So what is it that draws Dads towards this feeling? Does it make them feel manly? Somehow they feel like they did something 'right' to make this happen? Or is it as simple as wanting to be able to play catch in the backyard and have that male bonding?

(the 'its a boy' ultrasound with the baby mooning us)

I'm sure there is a little each mixed in and then some. For me it really came down to a couple key factors: what I knew from growing up & carrying on the family name.

I grew up with just boys (my brother Jeremy and I) and Ashley had the opposite with her and her sister (Tessa). I don't exactly know why this would change my opinion or feeling all that much. Its not like most of us even raise our siblings. I think its just 'what you know'. You know how boys are and how to handle them. You know if they fall down and scrape up a knee you make sure all limbs are attached and then tell them they'll be fine... and they will be. You have a good idea the types of questions they'll ask growing up. You know (for the most part) what types of things they'll be into (sports, cars, outdoors and even girls... eventually). Not to mention you hear from all of your friends 'how easy' raising boys are compared to girls. How do you handle raising girls in comparison? Is there even a comparison?!? I guess that is a question I won't have to worry about for now but I feel like it really is a totally different world.

The other side is I've always wanted a boy to help 'carry on the Swistak name'. When I was younger I was often told how my brother and I 'better have boys' since there weren't many Swistaks to carry on the name. For the longest time it was just my cousin John, brother Jeremy and me. Even though we now have the 3 of us plus Benjamin & Tommy (from Uncle Dan) and Little Jeremy (from my brother) it still feels good to know I'm helping carry on the name.

For those reading this wondering what I would have done if the result was different today... If you truly know me you'd know the answer is simple. I would still be wicked excited and just as happy. But I'm sure I would have had a million questions for Ashley and be looking up 'tips' on 'how to raise girls' online instead of writing this blog entry. I do have 2 wonderful God-Daughters (Rachel & Hali) that help me get a glimpse into the world of the baby girl and it doesn't seem as scary as I thought it would be. I know its way early to think about it but I'm already pulling for a girl for our next one (whenever that time comes).

For all you parents reading this... leave a comment about what gender you hope for and why.

Oh Baby!

So the secret is out!!! We're pregnant - 17 and a half weeks pregnant and its becoming quite obvious - even to strangers at the grocery store.

I don't think I look much different, but my clothes don't quite fit anymore and apparently my little belly with an amazing little boy inside is peeking out of my flowing summer dresses. About 6 hours after witnessing the miracle of life inside me at our ultrasound this morning, the cashier at the grocery store asked me when I was due. I didn't answer for a second because I was in shock, about to have a knockout fight with this woman... but it clicked in my head... I AM pregnant... almost halfway to my due date, so it is OK that I am beginning to LOOK pregnant. After this mini-struggle in my head, she repeated her question and I said, "November" - her next response was "Oooh" - which I interpreted as "Wow, you're big and you have a long way to go." My sweet friend later informed me the woman probably thought the opposite and couldn't believe I was so little at 17 weeks...

I prefer to listen to the affirming words of my friend instead of the random woman at the register.

Oh Baby!

We're having a baby... BOY!!!

I think the picture pretty much says it all... 'We're having a boy!'

Ashley had the ultrasound earlier today and we loved watching the little guy moving around and being very active at just over 17wks. Little arms, feet, hands... so amazing!

Ashley made the comment that she truly doesn't know how someone could sit and look at something like this and not believe in God and I couldn't agree more. Although I know we haven't even gotten to the most amazing and awe inspiring part... the birth. I can imagine that's a whole new ballgame!

For those that aren't pregnancy-math savvy that puts us due around Thanksgiving and we can't wait! (or maybe we can since there is of course A LOT to be done before then!).