Precious, But Not Perfect

This kid is all boy, especially when it comes to 

dirt, trucks, sports, dinosaurs ... 

all things boy.

But he is also mama's best boy,

and I don't think he minds it...

and I happen to love it!

When life slows down, 

he is all about snuggling.

Each night he asks, "Mommy, will you stay and lay a little bit with me?"

He is generous with his hugs and kisses

and is so sweet to Baby Anderson

tucked safely in my growing belly.

So, so sweet, but not perfect!  

We have power struggles daily ... 

disobedience and defiance rears its ugly head 

when he is overtired or hungry or just doesn't get his way!

The other day after a serious timeout in his room,

he came out apologizing

"for the way I acted."

And then proceeded to break my heart by telling me,

"Your mean words hurt my heart."  

Apologies from me and lots of snuggles followed.

I think we both learned our lesson that day.

The hard days melt away when I see him

sleeping and still...

peaceful and precious...

surrounded by all of his furry "babies" in his bed.

The other night I was up for two hours

tossing and turning

and went to check on him two different times.

The second time, I caught him between sleep cycles

and when I kissed his forehead, he woke up and asked for water

in the sweetest, sleepy voice.  Even said please!

I brought him water and gave him another kiss on the forehead.

He asked if he could give me a real kiss, 

so I leaned down and he ran his face into mine.

I started to walk out, but he said,

"Mommy, I didn't hear the mwah {kiss sound}."

I didn't understand him, so he repeated,

"Mommy, I didn't hear the mwah {kiss sound}. I need to kiss you again."

How do you deny that request?!

It made my two hours of sleeplessness 

completely worth it...

It made the hard days melt away...

always loving my precious, but not perfect

little guy ... even at 4:30 in the morning...

and all other hours of the day.

And already the mommy doubts and guilt are overwhelming...

How am I going to love my second little guy

as much or as well?

{Though I seem to fail daily with just one little guy and one big guy.}

What will our family be like in less than 3 months?

Will my words hurt hearts?

Or build them up?

Luckily I know that in God's eyes, 

I am precious, but not perfect.

His grace is enough 

to cover my doubts, my guilt, my failures, my fears.

I am beyond blessed to have the chance 

to love all of my boys.

Every hour of every day.