Fun

In my 28 years, I have come to learn that I'm not usually the most fun person in the room... or the building... or the yard!  I used to think it was such a curse and claimed it as a major shortcoming.  But as I've matured and grown in my confidence, I realize that it is me.  I am not silly like my husband or free-spirited like my sister.  I am me.  A rule follower, a first born, a perfectionist; cautious, careful, and kind.  I still worry about what other people think and have a hard time loosening up.  I'd rather sit in a bistro chair in a kitchen all by myself during a birthday party than socialize with strangers.  (I really did that this weekend.  Luckily Alekzander was with me and he was working on drinking water from a water bottle, so I appeared occupied and not totally crazy (because that is what people were thinking, right?))  I do enjoy time with my sweetest, closest friends and can chat for hours when given the chance.  And I do occasionally get the case of the serious sillies where I can't stop laughing... or I end up crying and laughing at the same time.  

As a mommy, I try to embrace fun in whatever sweet, small way it presents itself.  Alekzander and I laugh and sing and smile our open-mouthed grins all day long, but when Andrew comes home the laughter changes and I love that.  

I'm not giving Andrew full ownership of the "fun parent" title yet, but it is just not my nature to push Alekzander up to the moon, high and fast, in his swing.  Nor does it cross my mind to give our son blanket rides across the front yard.  

But I do admit, those things are fun... and it gives me great joy to see Alekzander enjoying things like that with Andrew.  Whether I'm the most fun parent (or person) or not, I do hope that Alekzander knows that I am one of his biggest fans, a protector and provider, and the giver of constant unconditional love.  I am a work in progress and I know I have a lot to learn about fun (and love) from my sweet boys.